The fun world of toddler defiance

How do I stop my child from putting the cat in a headlock?

Funny? I let out a small chuckle when someone first brought us this topic. However, being a nanny this is just one of the many questions Keri and I have received. We grouped this question under discipline. How exactly do you properly discipline a toddler without wanting to pull your hair out? Or worse, let out a good cry yourself! 

The most important part about proper discipline is CONSISTENCY. You must make sure whoever is around your child is ALWAYS on the same page with you! Whether it is your partner, parents, or your caregiver, it is key to have a system set in place. The more consistent you are, the faster your child will realize that bad behavior is not acceptable.

When your child yells, or worse... screams at you, try hard to say calm (very hard at times, we know!) and get down to their eye level. You can simple say, "Please do not yell." Or, "Yelling is not nice." Then, stand up. When they proceed to scream again (oh, they will!) it will be in your best interest and theirs to simply walk away. Your child will not like when you do walk away, but it will get the message across to them that yelling is not acceptable behavior. Mommy, or whomever is in charge, will not put up with it.

For the Parents who put their child in time outs; DO NOT allow your child to be in time out for any longer then their age. If your child is two years old, then you place them in time out for two minutes. Why do you match up their age with the time you may ask? If you put your child in time out any longer than their age,  their mind will start to wander and they will forget why they are in time out in the first place. Tell your child that they are getting a "time out," set a timer and explain to them that they can get up when the timer goes off. I would also make sure that you put them in a time out somewhere in the same vicinity as you and your family. You do not want to send them off to their room because you do not want them to associate their room (which is their own personal space) with anything negative. You want your child to enjoy their room so they feel comfortable retreating there. Place your child in eye distance of you. It can be anywhere from the bottom step or maybe a chair in the kitchen. Discipline and consistency is very important but do not make them feel like an outcast from the family.  If they get up from time out, the first time reset timer and tell them are in time out. Put them back in their spot. Every time after that simple pick them up, without communication, and place them back in time out. When the timer goes off once again, get down to their eye level and ask them if they know why they had received a time out and explain to your child the reason why if they do not understand. Give them a hug and send them on their way. Until next time, and there will be a next time. One glorious day, it will just click for them that they will not get away with it anymore. 

I promise, a small amount of the right form of  positive discipline, along with consistency is a LIFE SAVER & A GAME CHANGER.

Obviously this will not work for every child and you as a parent know your child best. What are some ways you would react in a similar situation? We would love to hear from our readers!

With lots of love and new found patience,

-D