Communication is key!!

Communication is very important in a parent/caregiver relationship. You have to make sure, that from the very beginning, there is an open stream of communication between everyone. I am very lucky to work for a family that has no problem communicating to me what they expect of me as their sons caregiver. In return, I have no problem communicating with them about anything regarding their son. Below I will list some key ways to make sure a strong and open relationship is established between you and your children's caregiver. 

The first and most important step is the interview process. Right from the very first interview, you want to make sure that you tell the interviewee what exactly is expected of them. Make a list prior of things that are absolutely necessary to you. Such things as, time of arrival, discipline style, days and hours needed, a sample day, a child's dietary needs, what happens if the child is sick and how long can they commit to your family. All these topics are important to make sure you and the caregiver are on the same page with what is expected. If all goes well with those topics, and you feel that you can trust this person with your kids, then the next part of the interview process can start.

This next part would be the caregiver contract. Make sure to include all you talked about in the interview, including the list. You also want to make sure the amount to be paid is covered exactly. Is  it hourly or daily wages? Paid days off? If yes, how many? Are sick days and vacation days the same? Are scheduled work days, that you do not need them to work, paid? Pay increases yearly? The answer to all these questions should be written in the contract. Then later on, if there is a problem, the contract can be referred to. 

Now that the interview process is over, you want to make sure you and the caregiver keep the lines of communication open. You can start a notebook of daily correspondence. The caregiver can fill it out daily with what they did that day and anything they feel you should know. This is especially good for younger children. It's a good way to keep track of naps taken and any medicine given. Also feel free to call or text a few times a day to see how everything is going. Remember these are your children, you have the right to know exactly what is happening all day. 

Now that a good foundation is established between the parent and caregiver, lets look at a few different scenarios. These are some questions brought to Danielle and I by parents not knowing how to handle a situation with a caregiver.

- My caregiver has not been showing up on time. What do I do? Should I find someone else?

The first step here is to bring it to the caregivers attention. Tell them you need them here by this time exactly. They might not even be aware that it is an issue, so if this is your only complaint with them, I would not fire them. As a last resort I would move their start time up by 15 minutes. If you needed them at 8:00, tell them to be there by 7:45. That way you don't feel rushed out the door when they get there. If they are continually late, even after you brought it to their attention, then it is time to start looking for someone else. 

- My nanny was feeding my 8 month old baby and the baby started to doze off in her high chair. The nanny grabbed the edge of the seat and shook it, startling the baby awake. She started crying and then just seemed off the rest of the day. I didn't say anything, even though it really bothered me. What should I do?

When you see the caregiver do something that you do not approve of, you need to bring it immediately to their attention. In this situation, I would have said, "Please do not shake her awake like that. As you can see, it really upset her. I would prefer next time that you just let her fall asleep or gently call her name." You never want to let something that bothers you slide. The nanny in that situation obviously didn't feel what she did was wrong. By not correcting her, the parent basically said that she approved of what occurred. NEVER be afraid to talk to the caregiver regarding your children's care. You need to make sure you are 100% comfortable with the person watching your children. If you ever get a bad feeling, or feel like something is just not right, hold a meeting with your caregiver asap! Talk over the issue or issues and see if this is someone you can still trust. If not, it is time to immediately find someone else.

- I have a very large house and we have security cameras in all the main living and play spaces. I was in the other room and watching the camera feed and saw the nanny smack my child on the butt. What should I do?
First of all, if there are any kind of cameras at all in the home, the nanny should be aware she is being filmed. The security cameras were obvious and not hidden, so in this case the nanny was aware they were there. You want to have an open and honest relationship with your nanny. If you feel like you have to secretly video you caregiver, then I don't believe this is the person that should be working for your family. In this instance, the parent should have pulled the nanny aside and reviewed the discipline policy set in place. I know for a fact, that in this instance, there was no contract and the mother was not even involved in the interview process. I recommended that the mother and nanny have a meeting asap to discuss what is expected. This should have all been taken care of in the initial interview process, but since it was not, it needs to be addressed. I also recommended that that after the meeting, she did not feel comfortable with how the nanny reacted or responded to her, then it was time to find a new nanny.

It is a great idea to hold monthly and yearly meetings with your caregiver to make sure everyone is still on the same page. Monthly meetings can include such things as, what is in store for scheduled activities, any days needed off and questions or concerns. Yearly reviews should include all of the lather and also a renewed contract. Review the entire contract and see that everyone is still seeing eye to eye.

A great parent/caregiver relationship benefits everyone. The children will feel more secure because everyone is on same page and they will know what to expect. Danielle and I have both worked for families in the past where the communication was spotty as to what was expected. It is not fun for anyone involved.

Please feel free to ask any questions or share your experiences below.