I want to start off by saying that I am not judging anyone else for the decisions they made regarding breastfeeding and what was best for them and THEIR child. This is simply my experience with breast feeding. If anyone has any negative comments they can just keep them to themselves! :)
My breastfeeding journey with Makenna was definitely not an easy one in the beginning. It took her three months to latch and it was a constant battle. I believe this is a direct result of the difficult birth I had with her that ended in an emergency c-section. I was so drugged and tired at that point, that I didn't even get to see her for eight hours afterward because I couldn't stay awake. By that time she had already had several bottles and was in love with her pacifier. As you can tell in this picture, I am still out of it.
When I finally got to hold her, I immediately tried to get her to nurse. She screamed and cried and would not latch for anything. After five minutes we were both exhausted and Daddy gave her a bottle. I felt like the biggest failure ever. When the lactation consultant came in that day she helped me try different holds and a nipple shield. Still nothing. They brought me a pump and told me I should start pumping to help my milk come in and that we would keep trying to get her to latch. I pumped and pumped and finally the day I went home from the hospital my milk came in! I was so excited, at least I could pump and give her breast milk still. She transitioned from the formula to breast milk in bottles without a problem. I figured she would start latching soon.
A month later she was still not latching. I would try before every feeding, but she would just scream and scream. I was slowly losing hope and pumping was taking over my life. When you pump exclusively it gets tiring and takes a LOT of time. I had to feed her and then pump for 30 minutes every 2 hours. As soon as I was finished, it felt like it was time to start the process all over again. I never really produced enough pumping to build up a good supply. So I had to constantly pump in order to feed her. My breast pump was my BFF. I couldn't go anywhere without it.
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Pumping in the car |
Thank God I had a good support system of family and friends who supported breastfeeding. My friend Julia was a constant shoulder to lean on and would help give advice to increase my supply or on any other issue. I probably would have given up without them cheering me on. Three glorious months later, I forgot my pump at work. I decided to just see if she would latch before I went all the way back there. SHE LATCHED!! I almost passed out from excitement. :)
After she finally latched, my milk came in stronger and I had zero problems producing enough milk for her. It was amazing and I stopped pumping all together. I was just so tired of that damn pump. I now wish I continued pumping a few times a day though. When I finally tried to pump again I hardly got anything and then Makenna refused to take a bottle. Go figure. Just my luck.
When Makenna was around 5 months old, she all of a sudden became "allergic" to dairy. She was extremely gassy, would have poop explosions a billion times a day, and broke out with rashes and eczema everywhere.
I had to cut dairy completely out of my diet. Not just typical dairy such as, milk, cheese and ice cream.... but anything that the dairy protein was in. Which is pretty much EVERYTHING. You don't even realize how much prepackage food dairy is in. It was insane. If I was worried I wasn't going to lose the weight I put on from pregnancy, I no longer had to worry. I dropped weight at a rapid pace. I was around 115 lbs when I got pregnant. I gained around 35 lbs, so at the time of birth I weighed 150. By the time Makenna was six months I was down to 102 lbs. I was definitely not eating enough and I'm lucky my milk supply didn't suffer.
After Makenna's first birthday I tried weening her off of breastfeeding. She was NOT having it. I decided to keep going and try again in a few month. By this time she was obsessed with my boobs. No, really, she was. I think her latching around the three month mark was a big reason. Around three months is when you start to introduce a "lovey". Her lovey was my boob. Even when she wasn't nursing she wanted to hold my boob. If she wanted to go to sleep she had to hold my boob. I created a boob monster. I always joke with my husband that she's going to mortified of all the pictures of her with her hand down my shirt when she is older. :)
Around 18 months I had had enough. We were still nursing on demand but I forced her to ween to 3 times a day and then slowly cut out a feeding until I was down to just nighttime. Nighttime was the worst one. She would cry and cry to nurse and I would give in. The month before she turned two I had to go away over night for the first time. That was the end of breast feeding, but not the boob holding. She'll be three in September and still tries to put her hand down my shirt when she is tired or wants to cuddle. I no longer let her though. Without success we cannot get her to latch onto any type of blanket or doll for more then a few weeks. She is very stubborn and obviously will not be forced to do anything before she is ready.
With baby #2 on the way I worry about breastfeeding. I pray it comes easier this time. I am having a planned c-section and my husband is under strict order to not let anyone near her with a bottle or pacifier. I am going to request a "gentle c-section" where they allow skin to skin directly after birth but haven't met the new doctor who is scheduled to delivery me. It might have been a long journey with Makenna breastfeeding, but I lasted almost two years. I would like to give baby #2 at least 18 months. We will see how that goes!
Feel free to share your experiences below!